The Blogging Black Hole and Picasa's Control On My Life.

A simple little setting change can cause so much trouble.  Since posting my last blog, I've been trying to figure out why my photos disappeared on all of my blogs and pages.  Tonight I called in the troops.  Okay, I called in Matthew - who can fix anything.  

He was completely befuddled by blogger.  

In his years of web developing he has never used blogger and would never recommend it. Of course not, it's a template and he doesn't use templates - he's a developer, after all, and speaks fluent PHP. Which is why he had me purchase a blog on Wordpress.  He figured it was a much better way to blog for a layman like myself.  it's still a template, but a much more challenging template with more features. But I still couldn't break my tie with blogger. I don't think it's a love of blogger so much as that I make money through the ads that run here. 

Plus my blog looks pretty nice; if I do say so myself.

Back to the photos issue.

Most of my photos were showing up as black boxes with white lines.  When Matthew gave up, I went into full Google search mode - there is a reason why my kids call me "The Google Queen". I can find anything! Including the answer to this dilemma.

It was Picasa.

A few weeks ago I realized that all of my albums suddenly went public on Picasa so I limited them.  Unknown to me that meant I stopped all of my blog photos from being seen by the public.  That would mean you folks. Sorry...

In my messing around on the blogs I discovered that my Wordpress blog needed some tweaking: duplicate posts, missing tags, text and background colour needing to be changed.  Thankfully, Matthew has been helping me understand html so I don't have to keep running to him.

Guess what I'll be doing....

Lucky me

Turn It Up - or - Get That Song Out of My Head!

This weeks' prompt from Red Writing Hood is called Turn It Up. We had 350 words in the genre of your choice, inspired by a song of your choice.

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Taylor Swifts' "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

This song has been ingrained so deeply into my head that it will never ever go away. I wake to it in the morning and it's running through my brain at night. It isn't like I actually like this song.  Oh God no.  

I have teenagers and this song is sung in my car and on trips on school buses. Anywhere that they can sing it. Do they actually like it? I doubt it. I truly think they just find the song irritating and have decided to sing it endlessly to drive their poor long-suffering Mom crazy! Being teens, when they see I am trying to tune them out, they sing it all the more.  Why? Because they love to torture me. It's something that brings them great joy. The same joy they get when my mind takes over my mouth and I start singing the song. Then they all high-five each other!

I realize Taylor has a reputation of writing break-up songs whenever a relationship ends, but really. Did she have to stoop to this level and try to appeal to the pop song lovers? Everyone knows they favour more simplistic songs. Songs well below the types she normally writes.

I'm not a big fan of hers to begin with. After all, her claim to fame seems to be break-up songs. Not exactly my cup of tea. I mean, when do you listen to these? I know people who listen to break-up songs during romantic evenings but they are only listening to the music and have no idea what the lyrics are all about. I listen to the words and find very few of her songs worth my time. I want songs I can think about, or about love, or fun, or even cows. I don't care. As long as they aren't depressing – or stupid. Taylor seemed to be aiming for the latter on this one. This song is so incredibly stupid.

Is she losing her grip? Or is this just a temporary thing because she was so devastated by the loss. Whatever it is, I want this song to go away and never come back.

I want this song to stay out of my head!

Curse you, Taylor Swift! "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

                              Day two of this month of gratitude:

I am grateful for Johannes.  I have never met anyone who loves me as much                as he does and I have never loved anyone this deeply before.

Oudoe,

Ingrid

"Roughing it"

Recently I found a group on LinkedIn that gave me yet another outlet for my writing. Each day we are given a prompt to use for inspiration. This challenge was to think of two things I loved to do as a child and to write about one of them. 

~~~

What would I consider to be my most loved childhood activities?  The two that come to mind would be camping out in the back yard in my Dad's WWII era tent and riding my bicycle throughout most of our county roads.  By far, my favourite of the two would be camping.

~~~

Dad had been a soldier during WWII, which made me quite an after-thought in his plan for a family, since I fell into the tail-end of the Baby-Boomers. Despite their ages, my folks still made sure I had lots of fun as a child. 


One of our activities was when the neighbour girls and I would sleep on folding lawn chairs in a secluded part of our back yard directly below our breakfast room windows.  Protected from the street lights and hidden between lilacs bushes and the retaining wall for the terrace, all that we could see were back lawns spread out in front of us. 


We would spend our summer nights in sleeping bags on these lounges until I was twelve. At first we used the old style metal chaise lounges which had a bar that ran directly under our backs when they were fully reclined.  Eventually, our parents began replacing them with chaises that had plastic straps.  These felt so much better and made sleeping much more comfortable - except for those times when someone didn't lock the legs and so a sudden shift in their sleep would sent them to the ground.

The only times we couldn't sleep "under the stars" was during fair week. You see, we lived two blocks from the county fair grounds.  A great location for a kid but uncomfortable for parents.  Once the carnies were out of town, we could go back outside at night again.  My folks and two of my neighbours kept their homes unlocked so that we could run inside if we needed, and sometimes we did.  Usually on nights when it would suddenly rain we would end up on my screened-in porch three stories above my backyard, where we had been sleeping. 


After I turned 12, my Dad took his tent out of hiding in our basement and set it up for us.  This was a tall canvas tent which had an umbrella-like frame and an awning in the front.  Dad decided the tent would work best behind our garage - another secluded area. We had a hedgerow on one side and a huge Jasmine bush on the other, the garage behind us and the two 30 foot Maples overhead. Four of us could sleep comfortably and there we stayed all summer. 

Across the lawn, just over the property line was "The Fort".  This was a wood and pajco construction building that the boys had built on the neighbour's lawn and from which we were banned.  Well, everyone but I.  They paid me a dollar a week to clean and I was allowed to hang out if they weren't in it (I would bring a book and lounge around, reading).  Any patch repairs were done with more pajco, of which we had an endless supply.  One of my neighbours was manager at the plant so he would bring us scrap rolls whenever we needed them. 


Our sleep-outs didn't involve much sleeping.  We lived in the next block from the school and just two blocks from "Downtown".  Every night we would go to Mercer's Dairy and buy Doritos and soda.  Then we would go to the kindergarten playground and eat while we played on the swings and other equipment. Around one or two am we would head over to the tent and play one of the many board games we had stashed away.  Occasionally I would get over-tired and break out into fits of hysterical, uncontrollable laughing - but it always passed and we went on with our fun.


Somehow we always managed to wake with the chill of the morning and raid whichever kitchen had the best breakfast foods.

Within These Walls

Amanda wrote a poem using this prompt so I thought I would give it a try.

Within these walls lives a family.  

Surrounded by adversity and hate.

So many people wanting to destroy what we built.

Not realizing the strength of our bond.

Never to be broken,

Only made stronger by our fight to stay together.

Within these walls lives a family.

A family that thrives on love.

The fun times continue each day.

The laughter resounds throughout.

We are seemingly oblivious

To the world outside our door.

Within these walls we live now.

Perhaps to one day leave.

While our love will come with us.

Wherever we may go.

The echos of our laughter will remain.

Within these walls.

I never feared walking in the dark until .....

This week I decided to do the writing challenge for NaNoWriMO. The challenge was fairly simple:


In 200 words or slightly less, fill in the blank:

I never feared walking in the dark until .....

I never feared walking in the dark until I got cats. That was when I learned
that I no longer dared walk through a darkened room. After all, one can't just
assume the path is clear when there are cats in the house. No. Those days of
simply strolling through my home are gone. An innocent walk to the bathroom
late at night can turn suddenly into an odd dance of sorts. One where you are
forced to jump and leap about as you realize your path is strewn with all
manners of toys meant to amuse the family feline. Toys like busy balls and
catnip mice, which crunch or squish underfoot. Sometimes you even encounter
the cats themselves, curled up in sleep in the middle of the room. Shrieking
as they are surprised out of their deep slumber by your foot against some part
of their body. Other times it is your turn to shriek when the cats are awake
and decide that you look like someone who would enjoy being frightened, as
they pounce on your foot like it were a mouse that should be gnawed upon.

Ah, yes, then there are the mice...

Who Determines Where the Line Is Drawn?

For this weeks assignment, we have been asked to write about the forbidden or taboo in 450 words.  I wasn't sure where to go with this but my mind kept going back to the obvious. I hope you enjoy it.

Where exactly does the line get drawn? At what point is it decided where the line is crossed? Who made this decision? Shouldn't this be something of our own choosing?

While growing up she was always told what is right and what is wrong and why the line should never be crossed. Sometimes the lesson wasn't in words but rather in the actions of others. She wasn't raised in a strict family, in that sense of the word, but it was always understood not to disappoint. That was one thing she never wanted to do. Although the subject was open, it was made clear where to go no further. She also learned from her siblings actions while growing up in the age of “free love”. Although she was younger and never quite caught on in her innocence – until later.

As she went through her adult life she continued trying not to disappoint. This time it was the men she was with. While trying so desperately to keep them happy she never let her true thoughts come out. She just acted as they wanted her to – never going too far. Perhaps it was fear of rejection. Rejection when they refused to cross that line with her. She thought something was wrong with her.

He was raised in a home without real love. With no values taught, only fear. His religious upbringing rendered him insecure in his decisions. He left early and ventured out to the streets where life was hard. Where gangs thrived and so did their mentality. Although he learned from his friends, he knew his thoughts weren't normal – were taboo.

He searched for women to cross that line with him. He found them. In the clubs, at parties, they were abundant in the world that he lived in. Many did question him. They couldn't understand why he wanted these things. They were wrong, they said Taboo. Yet, he continued looking for someone who would reassure him that there was nothing wrong with him.

Both of these people continued on the day-to-day lives. Both of them wondering why they were never satisfied. Wondering why these thoughts came into their heads. Wondering why they could never be satisfied. Wondering why they couldn't be normal?

Then the day came when they finally met. This man and this woman. They learned of the others' needs and realized they could cross that line together. With no fear of rejection, no one questioning them. After all of the years of wondering about themselves, they could finally be themselves. They both realized their was nothing wrong with them.

Two people yearning for the forbidden and happily venturing into that territory together.  

A Mad-Lib Tea Party

Today's writing prompt from Write On Edge asked for thirty words to use in writing this story:


Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: Chapter 7 – A Mad Tea-Party.

There was an apple set out under a piano in front of the ice pick, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having shelf at it: a Dormouse was golfing between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a french fry, skate-boarding their elbow on it, and cooking over its ear lobe. `Very fuzzy for the Dormouse,’ thought Alice; `only, as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.’

The window was a quaint one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!’ they 
snuggled when they saw Alice coming. `There’s PLENTY of room!’ said Alice quickly, and she winked down in a thorny pizza at one end of the bus.

`Have some pillow,‘ the March Hare said in an purple tone.

Alice jogged all round the table, but there was nothing on it but cat. `I don’t see any bike,’ she sewed.

`There isn’t any,’ said the March Hare.

`Then it wasn’t very sharp of you to type it,’ said Alice happily.

`It wasn’t very pretty of you to paint without being invited,’ said the March Hare.

Life Goes On

This post is in response to the following prompt from Write On Edge:
One person’s Humpty Dumpty is another person’s omelet. In 400 words or less, write about a time when something was irrecoverably broken and the ensuing scramble.

How do I narrow the many trips and falls of my life down to 400 words?  I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now but left myself only 12 hours to decide and complete the assignment.  I guess the life-changing event would be the moment that began the downward spiral of my life. The topic decided, now to use only 400 words.  That will be the challenging part for this Irish girl, for my love of talking isn't limited to speech.  So here goes...

I had already been through the family drama surrounding the death of my Dad.  The most beloved person in my life.  Less than two years later I faced the death of my Mom.  A woman I had only in the last few years realized how badly I needed. Her death was lingering for those living in the same country, for me, on Guam it was sudden.  I wasn't told of her illness until it was too late.  I wrote Mom a loving letter that she never received because of the greed of others.  I made it home to bury her but was blacklisted by my own family.

I spent the next year working with an attorney to get what was mine, items stored there and items given to me in the final division of property. My marriage began falling apart but I didn't see it through my own pain.  His Mom and I were never close. College degrees were important to her and I had dropped out.  But one day she saw enough and held me, telling me "Grieve Dammit!" I fought her to get away until the tears began, and then I clung  to her like a child.

My marriage to her son ended and I walked away with nothing but our son, his sister and his Mom.  He took everything as his new wife continues to taunt me on all she has gained.

In my need to feel wanted I ended up terrified and abused in a marriage to the cruelest man I had ever met. A man who continues to be cruel years after I escaped.  Eventually, I was able to get away but ended up financially trapped as a live-in employee to a man who only cared about himself.  A man who can't accept his loss of control over me.

When that charade ended, I began my new life.  A life where I can focus on my children without a man distracting me.  I no longer feel the need to have a man in my life. I am blessed to have found the man I want to be with.

Through it all, my "mom" has always been there, by my side, offering support - and love.  Despite those from my past who continue to try to destroy my happiness, I have found it at last and no one will take that from me.

The Versatile Blogger Award

This is so cool!  I have only been blogging for a year now and, to be honest, until the last few months I had kind of been neglecting my blog.  Lately I've been pushing my blog a little more in both content and where I share it, hoping to get it noticed a little bit more.  Yesterday, I received an awesome compliment from one of my favourite bloggers out there The Lucky Mom.  

I love her blog!  Did I mention that.  Lisha invites her readers into her home with such intelligence, honesty and a dry wit that I can totally relate to.  Reading blogs like hers has helped me be less timid in my topics and, I think, helps to make my blog more interesting.  Then here she comes along and nominates me.  Thank you so much, Lisha. This really made my day!

Would it be too corny to quote Sally Field here?  "You like me, You really like me!"

Okay, now down to business.  There are some rules for those who receive the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading.

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

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1. Thank my nominator.

     Done, but I will repeat myself here.  Thank you Lisha at The Lucky Mom

2. Seven things about myself:

• I grew up in "Mayberry" with my Dad the Chief Deputy Sheriff to my Uncle being Sheriff.
• My Mom was a "War Bride", born and raised in Germany and my two oldest brothers were born there also.
• My oldest son was born on Guam at the Naval Hospital in  Hagåtña when his Dad was a Captain  (pharmacist) in the Air Force and we were stationed at Andersen Air Force Base.  I often call my son a Chamarro (native Guamanian). 
• Before moving to our current home, my children and I helped run the county animal shelter that the guy I was with had built behind our home.  I actually managed it and helped keep it clean.  It was family-run after all.   On occasion I would do Dog Control work for him too. The result of working there is we have 12 cats (3 recently wandered in, I hope I can find their homes), 6 dogs (one belongs to a friend, I am trying to re-home him for her and four are sample dogs, so they only count as one - that makes it really only two 2 dogs then right?), 4 chickens (may I sneak in here that I speak fluent chicken?), two bunnies (they are so soft), two rats (seriously, why do they wash their faces every time I kiss them?), a red-eared slider (Hey, it's Franklin!), and a cockatiel (someone make that bird stop barking!).
• I know how to play piano, flute, clarinet, saxophone and cello, I even took singing lessons for 5 years. I'm teaching myself to play my son's guitar now -  I love music!
• I modeled for a while when I was younger. 
• I clean when I am angry .... or bored .... or sad .... or just because I like the way the house looks and smells afterward.

3. Pass the award:

• Johannes Adriaansen
• The Mommies Made Me Do It
• The Dash Between
• Craftwhack
• Insane in the Mom-Brain
• I Choose Happy Now
• The Crunchy (Grouchy) Mommy
• McConnell's Gurl
• Transitioning Mom
• Dodging Raindrops
• Guyer Family Blog
• Reading (and Chickens)
• Elegantly Said
• My Silly Life
• Snarky Redhead

4. Contact my nominees.  

     Getting right on it as soon as I get back from church.

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Check out the blogs I nominated and my nominator, The Lucky Mom.  They are all fantastic sites!

   

From the Old To the New

   Another year has come and gone and life moves on at it's own pace.  2011 has brought changes to my life and, in the process, I learned some life lessons and experienced many highs and lows.  I learned who are my friends. Who are good people and who are cruel by nature and just enjoy watching me hurt. I am still fighting some battles with people who have nothing better to do with their time than to inflict pain on me but I know this too shall pass.  I realized what I want in my life and who I want in my life.  I continued to forgive, but never to forget.  I discovered a place to get my volunteering fix that makes me feel good inside.  I began seriously working on my first book and I found that the words flow effortlessly when I don't try to force them.  I learned that God means a lot more to me than I ever realized.  I learned to open up to people and not to keep my feelings and fears bottled up - I don't have to always be strong.  I learned not to take my children for granted.  I learned what true love is all about.  I made friends with people who I know will be important parts of my life forever.  I found relatives on two continents who I never knew existed.  I experienced the heartbreak of finding a dear friend after years of searching, only to discover from her husband that she had passed on years ago.  I am grateful that I still have my precious "Mom" in my life 19 years after her son lost her in our divorce.   

   Like so many people, I too made New Year's Resolutions.  I think mine are easy to achieve.  I vow to eat more chocolate and to keep people smiling.  Nothing difficult, just simple goals. Anything else I do will be a bonus.

   I wonder what the New Year will bring.  I have had the over-whelming feeling that something great and wonderful is going to happen to me, to us.  Like there will be a big change.  Matthew says it's a feeling of happiness from the huge party we will throw after India heads off to college but I don't think that's it.  I wonder if this is my last winter here, in snow country.  I wonder where we will be, what we will be doing.  God has a plan and he isn't ready to let me in on it yet.  Whatever the new year brings, the feeling I have is surrounded by peacefulness.  2012 will be our year to shine.

   

May the Year 2012 bring  for you...

Happiness and Success and may it be filled with Peace, Hope and Togetherness of your family and friends

Wishing you a Happy New Year!!

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night...

 In honour of my favourite holiday, Halloween. I went wa-a-ay back in my facebook and dug out this story.  It began as an observation of my evening but several friends, and my daughter, joined in and it turned into a suspenseful ghost story.  Enjoy...

So Jerome usually sleeps with his mom (me) instead of in his room, but he went to his Dad's. I was watching Ghost Adventures, and a t-storm came up while I was putting away things from the last moving box in my bedroom - at 1am. I was wandering around the house feeling pretty brave with lights off. Then I heard noises. Ghost show, t-storm, dark house, noises.....

Ingrid O'B: ‎... India was taking a shower. *muffled scream*

Ingrid F: and there it was, a cracking sound on the front porch. I was unable to make out what it was, but then..

Ingrid O'B: Then I realized all the downstairs windows were open and the front door was unlocked.

Colleen: As lighting flashed across the dark sky . I realized, I have no electricity, the house is dark.

Ingrid O'B: But yet, the dogs make no sound. Is it fear?

India: I step out of the shower and wrap the towel around me as lightning flashes. I hear an eerie noise. What was that?!

Joy: Two yellow eyes peered out of the darkness and a strange animal-like sound coming from their direction. "Who's there", I called out.  

Colleen: I hear the floor creaking. Someone or something is moving closer to me. I can feel its presence all around me. Like heat radiating off it's body.

India: I quickly get dressed and run out of the bathroom running straight into you.

 

India: Who's there? I look around in the dark.

Colleen: I can't see, it is so dark. Lightning flashes across the sky, I think I see it.

India: I slowly back away trying to make no sudden movements.

Ingrid O'B: I'm not sure if it can see me so I try to stay in the shadows, not knowing if the shadows are safe.

India: What is it? I whisper.

Ingrid O'B: We tremble in fear. Whatever it is is so close we can hear it breathing.

Colleen: I can feel the heat of its breath , it is getting too close. I close my eyes.

Ingrid O'B: I'm too frightened to open them. If I'm going to die, I don't want to see what kills me. Or am I afraid to see my death?

Colleen: I keep thinking to myself. I know someone will find me, either dead or alive. I want to live.

Ingrid O'B: Matthew is asleep in his room. I want to call for him but I am afraid. What if it goes after him. I need to protect my son, if I don't then we will die. But if I call for him then it will know where I am. I am so frightened.

Colleen: I forgot I still have my cell phone in my back pocket of my jeans.

Ingrid O'B: I open my cell. The light comes on!

Colleen: I want to scream" OH NO" but I can't.  I'm stiff as a board . The fear is so great. What should I do? Stay calm, I tell myself.

Ingrid O'B: I can't think. Did it see me? The tears come to my eyes as my heart pounds in my chest. Can it hear my heart? What do I do?

Colleen: The air is so thick, and humid. I feel as though I can't breathe.  I take a deep breath, as deep as I can. I breathe slowly out. Hoping it can't hear me. I hear a cry from the bedroom. 

Ingrid O'B: I'm too frightened to call out for fear that whatever it is may not be alone. I have to protect India, but I can't let it harm Matthew. I grab India's hand and take a deep breath...

Colleen: Over there, those eyes. Could it be. A long pause and a sigh.  I think it's the cat, no, is it the rat out of Matthew's room? Umm...

Ingrid O'B: ‎"Charlie?" I ask. "How did you get out of your cage?"
  

Adventures in Blogging

Sometimes I feel for my poor family.  It started with facebook, with me posting interesting little things happening in the family.  They would do something that I thought was too funny not to share and I would run off to my computer. That wasn't good enough for me. I started fiddling around with this blog and they knew they were doomed. That everything was now fair game.

 I can't say they minded, though. More times than not they would say "that would make a great status" or "you should blog this".  They are really getting into this.  In fact, today I asked India to bring the camera to school so that she could take some pics that I can use in my blog and she was all for it.  

 One thing I have noticed is that blogging is like a drug.  Once you start getting into it, it is really hard to stop and you begin looking for more ways to get your fix.

 Today I discovered Pages on facebook. I had just created my page this afternoon and within a few minutes, another blogger who's page I like and comment on had found me and was recommending me.  By this evening I was up to 32 likes and climbing. This is serious now.  I find myself checking back constantly to see how the numbers have grown in such a short time. It has gotten so bad that I almost forgot about this blog.

 I think an argument could also be made for the fact that I am blogging about blogging.  I promise I will be alright.  Just let me have my fix and I will be a happy Mom. Really, when it comes to family harmony, isn't that what really matters?

Writing For the Soul

Gratitude Journal

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-Melody Beattie

I always have been an upbeat person, looking for the good in every situation,   but like so many people I would let things get me down on occasion.  Several years ago I read about something called a "Gratitude Journal".  The concept of this is to find three things each day for which you are grateful.  Contrary to diaries where you write about things in general and oftentimes it might be something that brings back bad memories, the gratitude journal brings out the good in your day, reminding you of the pleasant events. The amazing thing about this little task is that in a few months it will change you.  It will help you to see the good in your life and focus less on the bad.  You will be more content and hopeful.  You WILL be a changed person.


To begin the journal, find a beautiful, blank book.  Something that shows your personality and makes you feel happy to hold onto.  A special pen helps set the mood too.  Do you prefer a pencil? A rolling writer? A gel pen? If you feel good about what you are writing in and what you are using to do this then you will have the right mindset.


Each night before bed, while the day is still fresh in your mind, sit down and get comfortable.  Look back at your day and remind yourself of something for which you are grateful.  It will be hard at first but begin at the beginning - morning - and go through your day looking for even the tiniest little detail that made you smile or gave you a moments happiness.  Think hard.  Did you kiss your husband before he left for work?  Were you able to take a hot shower?  Did your car start?  Did you talk on the phone to someone special?  Did your child tell you something interesting? You only need three, you'll remember them, just think hard. Go through your day and record these events.  


If you are having a particularly bad day then this is the day when you really need to be writing what you are grateful for.  Take your mind off of whatever happened to make you upset and turn it onto the happiness of your day. On those bad days re-read what you have already written in your journal. I guarantee it will make you smile. 


As time goes by you will find writing in this gratitude journal so much easier, you may even feel that you don't need it as much because you are a changed person.  You will be more positive and feel better about your life.  But keep writing, especially on those bad days.  


A French proverb reminds us that "Gratitude is the heart's memory."