The Hardest Part is Not Knowing

It's been a terrible year pet-wise.  Okay, I admit we had a few too many. We used to run the county shelter and just had to save those in danger when the new management took over.

We moved to our new home with six dogs. A year later, Domino left us. She was a beautiful Border Collie/Australian Shepherd who had come to the shelter as a puppy. My county animal cruelty investigator ex never let her have too much fun. She was always told to lay down - no toys for her. After a while he started ignoring her and knocked some of her teeth out when she tried to get his attention. She became close to William and she followed me everywhere. As she got older, she became skin and bones and could barely move but the now-ex told me if I took her in to have her  put down then he would let everyone know I killed his dog. The day she died, I came home and found her laying in the flower bed. I carried her in and laid her on a mat in front of the dryer. The ex, at the time, was pretending to be disabled, so he sat in the doorway and cried crocodile tears while William screamed to her not to go. With his Asperger's Syndrome he doesn't understand why people and pets we love have to die - do any of us really? After three hours of trying to keep Will from laying on top of Domino and not to scream in her ear. William suddenly told Domino "Jesus is here. He told me it's time for you to go with him. Go now, Domino. I love you." She looked at him, let out a long sigh...and was gone.

Almost two years ago, Scout joined us. He was a housebroken but other-wise untrained pain in the rear Greyhound/Jack Russell. Over time he has become the best dog. Still, we tried to re-home him because we had too many dogs. I kept telling the kids if we didn't have so many dogs, we could keep him. I advertised him, but no one wanted him. If only there weren't so many dogs...

Suddenly, we dropped from six dogs to two in just a few months.

Zoe was the first in this string of dog loss. I can honestly say she is in a better place. Zoe is a nine year old Chihuahua who came to our animal shelter when she was around two years old after being taken from her abusive home. She was adopted out but was abused by those people too, we got her back and she became William's little buddy.  The ex would hit her in the face until she lost some teeth. After I threw the ex out, my Pomeranian would bite poor Zoe.  When India's boyfriend decided he wanted Zoe, I was happy to give her a good home. After all, we had too many dogs to give her attention anyway. Now Zoe lives across the state, has another chihuahua friend to play with and is devoted to Cody's disabled Dad. We miss her, but she needs to stay where she is happy.

Next was my precious Timothy. He was my little boy, my constant companion. This little Maltese/Poodle/Westie came into our lives as a six-week old puppy as a gift for my oldest daughter and was a Mommy's boy until his much-too-early death in August. Like me, he was an abuse survivor. Having been thrown around by my children's father and later kicked repeatedly in the face by the same ex who hurt Zoe and Domino.  He relied on me for his very life. He wouldn't eat if I was gone. He barked until I reappeared - sometimes going hoarse. In his last year he began to accept India as a substitute if he couldn't get to me. Timothy went blind early and I spent the next six years of his life talking constantly so he could find me. I believe the abuse led to his early death, and his last few months were a rapid downhill slide. No one was surprised when he laid down next to me and went into a permanent sleep.

Soon after Timothy, we lost Cassidy. She was our Pekingese. She was found deep in the woods one January day and was a temperamental and silly girl. We don't know how old she was but she came to us looking "up there in age". Like the other dogs, my ex had kicked several of her teeth out, so eating was difficult but she could do it. She only let me groom her - biting two groomers and an assistant. Even my grooming her depended on her mood. She gave kisses. Rough-housed with us and loved to be cuddled. When we first got Cassie she hated being picked up but as the years went by she would jump into our arms. Her one big flaw was that she loved to bolt out the door as soon as it was opened and run to the neighbour's house one-quarter of a mile away. That fateful morning, she only made it half-way from one of our driveway entrances to the other. As Matthew stepped out to get her he saw the truck and heard the thud. When I went to her, a truck was pulling in. I'm afraid I was abrupt with the man as I ran to Cass. But it was too late. She was gone. I carried her to a spot next to Timothy. Just outside my bedroom window. Andrew dug a hole for her, and there she sleeps.

But now my Belle. We found Belle in the woods across from our house not long after Timothy joined our family. She was about two years old and seemed to enjoy making us try to catch her. When the kids and I went on to the animal shelter, Belle was stuck in the back of the building because the animal kicker didn't like her. After a few years I was finally able to bring her into the house, just as we were getting ready to move. After coming to our current home, he was tossed out and the dogs could live in peace. Belle kept her love of escaping and wandering but always returned home. We have been watching her carefully this winter. Her arthritis has gotten really bad in her rear leg where she is missing a toe. Her hearing went and her eyesight was getting worse. Years of being hit in the head by the dog kicker had made her confused. She sometimes stared at us like she wasn't sure who we were. I worried she wouldn't make it through winter and told the kids we would have to put her down in the spring.  William loved her. He just wanted her to stay with him forever.

Then the night came when the mudroom door wasn't tightly closed. The dog chain was shut in the door so it blocked the door from latching, although it seemed like it was. I had let Scout into the mudroom in the morning so I could let him outside when the kids got on the bus - without him running out with them. After I walked back into the living room, William reappeared at the door and let Scout in. I remembered that I had noticed the mudroom was really cold but in my haste didn't check why. When I went out there. Sugar, the Pomeranian, was sleeping on Belle's bed next to the washing machine, but the door was open to the outdoors. This had happened two days earlier and both girls were standing in the mudroom when I went to close the door. This time Belle was nowhere to be seen.

I wandered around the fields surrounding our property. I checked our barn. I stood on the top of our Hogs-back hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I went to the neighbour's pond, just in case... I've put ads up, contacted the local lost pet Facebook page. I can't call for her. Her world is silent. 

It snowed last night. A big storm skirted over us but dumped a few inches of snow and freezing rain on us, on her? Did it cover her? Belle's leg doesn't like cold. It gives out after a few minutes. 

Sugar and Scout keep trying to run outside after I unhook them when they are pottied, I think they want to look for her. Scout lays on William's bed and barks out the window. Is she outside? Did someone find her? Is she safe inside someone's home?

If I only knew, then I could stop worrying.

I miss her.

Memories of the Blizzard of '77

It's raining.  A change from the last week when we got over two feet of snow in just four days.  My kids were excited by it since they had a day off from school. India was frustrated by it since she was stranded on the wrong side of the state from college.  Matthew had to keep snow-blowing the driveway so the build-up wouldn't get too deep for the push-behind snow-blower. I was watching the weather with much more interest.  The strong winds, the white-out conditions along with the snow falling so quickly reminded me of the biggest blizzard I have ever seen.  A blizzard that became notorious.  When the winter snow turns to blizzard conditions I always wonder, is another one coming...

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January 28th, 1977 was just another winter day.  We had several feet of snow built up from the snow that had fallen since October - when the first snowfall fell that winter, after an extremely rainy summer.  Like so many people in Northern New York State, I had just gone about my day.  

I was 13 then and in 8th grade.  It had been a long day at school and I was eager to get home but as the clock on the wall slowly ticked away, everyone was unaware of what was about to strike.  If we knew, perhaps things would have ended up differently for so many people. 

Like this winter, our temperatures so far the winter of 1976-1977 had been bitterly cold and Lake Erie had frozen over early.  Further up north, in the Lake Ontario Region, we never saw a frozen lake.  Ontario was much too deep for that. The cold was so widespread that even Miami reported snow that winter. In Lowville Academy everyone was used to the snow by now. It had snowed almost every day since Christmas. 

Down in Western New York (where I now live) Lake Erie was covered in a deep layer of powdery snow.  With the lake frozen there was little moisture in the snow and this would make driving conditions nearly impossible. Earlier that day a wall of snow, similar to the one in this photo, had made it's way across Lake Erie and was traveling across Western NY, Ontario Canada and as far south as Erie, Pennsylvania. 

School was going to be letting out in just a little while when the sky went dark.  Everyone turned toward the windows as we watched the darkness be taken over by unrelenting snow, like we had never seen before.  People crammed against the windows to watch and the announcement came over the PA system that the buses would not be running.  Only children living in town were allowed to go home and they needed to do so right away.  other children in our K-12 school of around 2000 students would be sleeping in the "Big Gym" and the school would be feeding them.  I lived the next block over from the school.  A quick 3-minute walk any other day of the year.  My walk home took me around 20 minutes that day and when I arrived home, my Mom told me that my sister's mother-in-law had called and wanted us to bring her 12th grade son to our house.  So Mom sent me back to school.  

West Port Colborne North St. Catharines,
Ontario, Canada

By then the sidewalk was gone and the mailbox marking the corner of the intersection was in the process of being buried.  After crossing the street, I had four houses and a stretch of parallel parking to get past before reaching the first door in the elementary wing of the school. I couldn't see!  The snow was coming so fast and coating my eyelashes, making my eyes too heavy to open.  My nostrils were frozen and the 49 mile an hour wind gusts were taking my breath away, making breathing almost impossible.  40 minutes later, I arrived at the breezeway door. I was frozen and had to take a few minutes to re-group so that I could walk down the hallway to the big gym. When I got there, most of the kids were gone. Other people had come and taken all but a handful to their homes.  Ken was nowhere to be found.  I finally found out that he had gone home with the high school music teacher, who lived with his wife behind the school. 

I was dreading the walk back home but I didn't have to worry. When I walked out of the gym I saw flashing lights and one of the teachers told me to go out the door where the police car was parked.  Uncle Clarence had come to get me and take me home. My Mom was worried that I hadn't come home and had called Tante Clara.  Tante Clara was my Mom's sister and she also lived in our hometown where my Dad had recently retired as Chief Deputy Sheriff. But Uncle Clarence was still the Sheriff , until his own retirement the next year.   

And you thought you had a hard time finding your car in a parking lot?

I made it home and stayed there for the next week.  Schools were closed and people were stuck in their homes, unless you were lucky enough to live in town, or had a snowmobile. 

The school buses left out were all buried. 

Western NY got relatively little snow, but the blowing snow off the lake made conditions terrible.  Northern NY was dumped on with continuous snow until January 31st, when the blizzard finally let up.  The Lake Effect Storm covered our Tug Hill Plateau with almost 100 inches of snow. 

Volunteer firemen clearing off the roof of a house in Depew, NY. 

Thankfully, we never had our electricity go out and we had the fireplace going in the den, so we could shut ourselves in there to get away from the draftiness of our old house. The windchill was well below zero.

Many people made tunnels to get into their homes.
My cousin cleared out a tunnel from the road,
up an angle and onto our front porch.
(this is not my photo)

Uncle Clarence kept us up-to-date on what was going on around the county. So we heard when Camp Drum (now Fort Drum) brought out 14 Amtrak vehicles to help.

C-130 bringing in badly needed supplies.

There were so many people stranded, and buried, in Montague and throughout the rest of "The Tug" and New York State. 

Because of the sudden onslaught of the snow, people were stranded on the roads.  We heard about a police car that was parked next to a stranded car when an Army vehicle came through and ran them both over. 

A front-end loader is trying to clear Furhmann Boulevard.
You can barely see the buried car.

29 people died during the course of the storm, including nine who were found frozen to death in their cars. Most of the deaths were in Western NY. Five lives were lost in Northern NY.

Roof collapsed by weight of snow.

Red Cross volunteers searching for  trapped people

QEW between Niagara Falls and Fort Erie

Snowmobiles became the only means of travel for those without a military track vehicle available to them. While the highway department tried to keep even a single lane open for traffic.

Miser Hill Road, Town of Rutland, Jefferson County

Of course, you had to find your car first. 

There was a full-size van under there.

When the Blizzard finally ended on January 31st, a State of Emergency was declared and traffic was banned except for essential vehicles. While the clean-up continued. 

Buffalo wasn't the only place hit by the storm - this was in Watertown, NY. Jefferson County had snowdrifts that were 'only' 18 feet high.

Rt.177 in Barnes Corners

Snow plow coming up road ...

After things calmed down, people ventured out to explore the damage. Cars were towed out of the roads in the hopes that their owners would find them. 1,900 stranded travelers in Northern NY were allowed to leave on February 1st because supplies were running out.  The dairy industry lost $8 million as a result of the storm. Northern NY is a dairy region and the farmers had to dump their milk. They also had problems getting to their barns to feed their livestock, while several barns collapsed under the heavy Lake Effect snow. 

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Rt. 11 looking south at the Rt.177 intersection maybe 200 feet away

The utility poles were almost buried. 

I thought it was so cool how we could actually walk up to the stop lights. 

I used to have the game, but lost it in a divorce.  The game was more based on Buffalo but it was still fun to reminisce while playing. 

The blizzard was such a hard thing to endure - even living in town. But what I will remember the most about this terrible time in so many lives will be the people.  Everyone cared so much about others.  Not just the many, many highway crews and military from throughout the United States who came to help us.  We were blessed to have this happen in a time when people cared for each other.  If you needed to have someone checked on, you simply called the local radio station and told them the address you needed someone to go to and a complete stranger would go there and let you know if your friend or relative was alright and give them any assistance they might need.  Neighbours would check to see if you needed anything before they would brave the storm to go downtown and pick up supplies. People in even the smallest homes filled them with stranded strangers. With the inside scoop from my Uncle we heard so many stories of people helping people. The show of compassion was often overwhelming but this is my strongest memory of the Blizzard of '77.