Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Jealousy rears it's ugly head

Other than the on-going and somewhat tedious Love Dare, my blog has been written with a sense of humour. This posting isn't. 

Those who know me know that I never cared for lying and that after three marriages to lying cheats I have an intense dislike for not only lying but the liars themselves.  Hypocrites rank right up there with liars in my book.  I like to say I can smell a lie and the first time someone lies to me I don't believe a word that comes out of their mouth afterward.  

Let me tell you about how jealousy and lies are affecting one part of my life right now.  

My first marriage was not the prettiest picture.  We were on-again, off-again high school sweethearts who married too young. He was a drug-using, man-whore and I focused my life on our son - not a winning combination.  Eventually, like always, karma turned around and bit him in the butt.  He found a woman who knew of his drug dealings and how it could affect his career.  She talked him into leaving.  Not something we both wanted but eventually it worked out for me.  He took everything I owned except the contents of five suitcases that I managed to take with me.  I got our son, his Mom and his sister so I feel I got the better deal.  She cut him off from most of his family and from our son.  

Over the years she would contact me under the guise of wanting to get her husband to have a relationship with my son.  The contact rarely made it to her contacting my son (he is mine now - I have been his only parent for 19 years) and never to the guys communicating with one another.  It always consisted of her contacting me for a while and then her getting verbally abusive toward me before she would tell me to leave her alone in her colourful language.  Afterward she would go on a letter-writing spree.  Taking my words to her, twisting them around and making me look crazy or slutty, or both and mailing the letter to everyone in his and my families.  Despite her actions, every year when she would contact me I would open the door to a reconciliation between her husband and my son. 

This time I decided to contact them because of my son's grandmother.  This woman has been the most wonderful Mom you could ask for.  When my own Mom died and I wasn't allowed to grieve because of the stress my siblings caused me, she literally held me and wouldn't let me go until I let go of my emotions.  Since then I have grown to love her dearly as though she were my own Mom. We talk often and she tells me her feelings.  Just before Christmas she fought back tears as she told me how much she missed her son (my ex).  She is 87 years old, hasn't seen him in 19 years and their phone calls are always monitored by his wife.  I started putting out feelers to see if the time was right to approach his wife.  I noticed odd things like her profile picture on facebook changing as mine did and each pose reflected the pose I  currently had with my Sweetheart, in her descriptions of herself she made my ex out to be a war hero with a long military career (I was there when he was sworn in and I left a couple of months before he was discharged from the Air Force, he was never in a war) and many other half-truths and white lies. By then I had realized that is her personality, so roll with it.

I also learned she had published her own book.  Being an avid reader, I got her book and learned she had re-written her life to make it sound more dramatic than it really was and changing dates and times to make herself look better all while taking my accomplishments and making them her own. She proclaims a compassion toward those abused, pleading for them to post their stories on her page or her new blog.  Since I couldn't contact her, I broke her rules and faxed a letter to her husband, giving him my son's various contact information and told them of the abuse my son had endured during my marriage to an abuser.  They responded that "Karma is a bitch".  Not content to say that, they sent more emails to me calling me all sorts of names and finally, after I sent an email telling them to leave me alone they sent me one saying they will charge me with harassment for approaching them with my son's contact information in the first place.  

No, it doesn't end there.  They sent my Sweetheart copies of my fax and their vicious response to show how "crazy" I am.  At this writing, they sent him a snail mail with the same info filled with lies about me (interestingly - as my "Mom" says, what they are accusing me of doing are actually the wife's actions) and a note telling him to dump me "for his own safety".  

I suppose I should be worried - but I am not.  After years of believing his father was a helpless victim of a crazy woman, my son now sees his father as a jealous man.  This intelligent young man told me that it's obvious his father sees my relationship with my Sweetheart as a life-long love and that he feels threatened by the sight of my happiness (I suppose writing in my fax that this is "the first man to truly love me" might have hammered that in.)  My Sweetheart wonders why they can't focus in their own relationship rather than on attempting to destroy mine. My Sweetheart has made it very clear that he has no interest in their antics.  As for me, I am so flattered that they are fascinated by my life to such an extent.  

Obviously, I am unforgettable.


  1. Jealously, hurts so many people, but none so much as the "jealous" one....The opposite of happiness, is misery, and "misery" loves company.... Do not ever forget that!! Their misery can grab You, and bring You down....don't let it...!!

  2. Never happen. I will never let people unhappy with their own lives bring me to their level. I view life in a positive way, I always have and no one will change that. Let them wallow in their misery while you and I laugh our way through the best relationship either of us has ever experienced!!


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