Sunday, May 20, 2012

Blue Laws In All Their Oddness

I have so many drafts waiting to be written into blog form but I came across several Blue Laws and just couldn't resist writing about them. 

It all began with ice cream.  Namely, eating ice cream.  We all love to eat ice cream but I discovered that in Georgia you can't carry ice cream around in your back pocket on Sundays.  Seriously?  So on a hot Sunday afternoon you are supposed to get your hands all sticky by carrying your ice cream in your hands? Gross!

You can buy it but you can't eat it on Sundays in Oregon.

Upon further research I learned that my native New York State also bans ice cream being carried in the pocket on Sundays.  I also learned this is petty compared to my second home - Oregon. In Oregon they are the pregnant woman's nightmare: ice cream EATING is banned on Sundays.  Obviously that is a man's state.

This new information led me to crave more - information, that is.  So off to the interweb to see what more I could learn. Let me share some of my favourite Blue Laws with you:

Alabama Blue Laws
  • You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
  • You may not drive barefooted.
  • Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
  • Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
  • Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
  • Cabbage can’t be sold on Sunday.
  • If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
  • There is a decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
  • It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
  • Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
  • Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
  • It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
  • In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
  • It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
  • Silly string is banned.
  • You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
  • An unmarried woman may not parachute on Sunday (or she risks arrest, fine, and/or jailing) 
  • Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
  • Selling two beers at once for the same price is not allowed.
  • It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair.
  • Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
  •  Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back.
  • A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
  • Riding a Merry-go-round on Sunday is considered a crime.
  • One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
  • Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
  • It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
  • Humming on public streets on Sunday is illegal.
  • A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
  • One-armed piano players must perform for free.
  • Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
  • Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
  • Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
  • Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
  • No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
  • The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
  • One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
  • A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
  • Dogs may not molest cars.
  • It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
  • It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts.
  • Deer may not be fed.
  • Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
  • An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
  • Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
  • All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
  • The last Sunday in June of every year was named “log cabin day”.
  • There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
  • Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
  • It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
  • It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
  • It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
  • Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
  • Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated.
  • Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
  • It is illegal for a married woman to go fishing alone on a Sunday and illegal for an unmarried woma to go fishing alone at all.
  • If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
  • It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
  • It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
  • A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
New Hampshire
  • You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
  • On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Mexico
  • Idiots may not vote.
  • You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
  • It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
New York
  • Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
  • A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
  • The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
  • A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
  • Pinball machines may not be played on Sundays.
North Dakota
  • It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
  • Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
  • One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
  • It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
  •  It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
  • No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
  • Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
  • It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
  • Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
  • It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
  • It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
  • A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
  • You may not sing in the bathtub.
  • You may not catch a fish with your hands.
  • You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
Rhode Island
  • You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on Sundays.
South Carolina
  • Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.
  • Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
  • It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
  • Like Massachusetts, all men must carry a rifle to church on Sundays
  • Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.
  • Musical instruments may not be sold on Sundays.
South Dakota
  • No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
  • It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
  • Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
  • The sale of bologna is prohibited on Sundays.
  • At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
  • All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
  • There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.
  • You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.
  • Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
  • It is illegal to tickle women.
  • Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
  • No hunting is allowed on Sunday except raccoons which may be hunted until 2am.
  • No one my buy a mattress on Sundays.
West Virginia
  • It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
  • Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
  • Whistling underwater is prohibited.
  • It is legal to beat your wife on the courthouse steps on Sundays.
  • Using a firearm to fish is strictly forbidden.
  • You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

And for some odd Sunday laws more locally centered:

Buckner, Missouri: Yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
St. Cloud, Minnesota: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sunday.

Colorado Springs
, Colorado: It’s permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.

Hartford, Connecticut: It’s illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

As they say in Johannes' native Brabant:


No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed it.