Love Makes Sacrifices
Life can be hard. But what we usually mean is that our life can be hard. We’re the first to feel it when we’re the ones being mistreated or inconvenienced. We’re quick to sulk when we’re the ones who feel deprived or unappreciated. When life is difficult for us, we notice.
But too often the only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us the way it does when it’s our pain and pressure. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us.
This doesn’t happen when love is at work. Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That’s because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.
Even when your mate’s stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say “no” to what you want, in order to say “yes” to what your spouse needs.
These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband. Instead of sitting around upset that they’re not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention to their needs.
Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?
Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.
Often all they really need is just to talk this situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.
The words “How can I help you?” need to stay fresh on your lips.
The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That’s the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.