After Dinner Family Violence

The entire situation revolved around a simple little water bottle.  It was a mild-mannered water bottle, just sitting on the table, minding it's own business. Someone had placed the water bottle on the table before we sat down to eat and somehow it ended up in front of me. You'd think the story would end there but it didn't.

I will swear to the ends of the earth that I did not intentionally pull the trigger a few times with the bottle pointed at Mandi, then India and eventually Matthew. Okay, so it might not be exactly the truth but I'll swear it to protect myself anyway. 
Getting Matthew wet proved to be my undoing because it was at that point that Matthew, India and Mandi morphed into their alter-egos and over-all Mom-bullies known as Brat Boy, Evil One and Her Royal Meanness. 
The water bottle was wrestled from my grasp and I was thoroughly soaked as I tried in vain to run from the pack attacking me. Somehow an ice cube appeared and it was forced down the back of my shirt and they proceeded to rub my back over the ice cube. At some point I found myself with my back to the sink but when I turned, there was the kitchen sprayer being pointed directly at me. Somehow I was able to escape and hide in my room until they went on their ways.  
One thing I have learned is to never trust my gang when they get that look. But I wouldn't trade this family fun for anything.