My life has been through many highs and lows. I made wrong decisions which led me to bad marriages. I wish I could say that it has left me believing in love, but it hasn't. I realize many people, including a few of my friends have amazing marriages. I feel like that was because they took the time to really know the person they were marrying. I never did that. I was so grateful that someone seemed to love me that I listened to the courting ritual they used. They told me lies and I bought the stories. After they reined me in they treated me terribly.
Do I wish the marriages hadn't happened?
No. Each marriage gave me something.
I was able to raise the son from the first marriage by myself, for the most part. He turned out to be an amazing man, and I am so very proud of him.
My second marriage gave me five children whom I love dearly. Input from their father has left a few of them confused, but I will never stop loving them. Other things this marriage left me with is empathy toward those who are suffering or are hurt. It taught me how to be strong. It helped me find who I really am (more on that in a minute).
Finally, my last marriage. This will be the last. This is where I realized that I can only trust God. He has done many amazing things in my life, and he has kept me alive when I should have been dead long ago. Not because I was suicidal. So many times in my life, because of coincidence or because of men, I should have died. God wanted me alive. He is my best friend and I spend a lot of time diving deeper into being a Christ-follower (a Christian in more than just words). God and I have had many really good conversations.
Who have I learned I am?
 |
| My oldest using the Black Magic Pocket Cinema (video camera) on the Dolly track. |
I am nothing like my first two husbands thought I was. I am much more intelligent that I gave myself credit for. My oldest is a web developer/systems manager, and production volunteer (he had been Interim Multisite Production Director on top of his IT Director job). He taught me to use computers, now I'm taking coding classes.
He voluntold me for the production team at church and I absolutely loved that! I learned computer programming, video cameras, how to program lighting, wiring of lights, directing cameras, and what each piece of equipment does and how to set it up. I am eternally grateful to Rob, Bev, Mike, Matt and Scott for sharing their knowledge with me.
I learned that I'm pretty funny. I kept the people in production (and my kids) laughing. I think the snarkiness adds to that. I stopped being self-centered and learned to let things go. I learned that I am pretty independent, and often prefer to do things by myself. I learned that I love, love, love hiking in the mountains. I learned that I want an off-grid cabin in the woods. I don't want to live there (yet), I just want to spend most of my spare time there. Maybe one day...
 |
| Buck Mountain Summit overlooking Lake George, NY |
Have a great one!
Ingrid