Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Weird and Scary Vintage Valentine's Cards

In honour of Valentine's Day this Friday, I thought I would  share this post from Brian Galindo over at BuzzFeed:  


1. Love is swell until you’re bludgeoned to death by a psycho jealous ex. The dog tried to warn them.

                               Love is swell until you're bludgeoned to death by a psycho jealous ex.
                                                                 Via vintagevalentinemuseum.com

2. Speaking of bludgeoning: If you get this card, RUN!

                              Speaking of bludgeoning:
                                                           Via historymaniacmegan.wordpress.com

3. Um, yeah there are laws against this!

                        Um, yeah there are laws against this!
                                                                          Via thersic.com

4. She learned it wasn’t a hot tub the hard way.

                             She learned it wasn't a hot tub the hard way.
                                                                Via contentedsparrow.com

5. Little known fact: The boy in the card was modeled after a young Dick Cheney.

                      Little known fact: The boy in the card was modeled after a young Dick Cheney.
                                                    Via vintagevalentinemuseum.com

6. I’m guessing pen is a euphemism for something else.

                                        I'm guessing pen is a euphemism for something else.
                                                                listoftheday.blogspot.com

7. Wait, did he murder and cremate a woman?

                    Wait, did he murder and cremate a woman?
                                                       Via vintagevalentinemuseum.com

8. What’s going on here?! Why does that dirty old snowman have that smile on his face?

                          What's going on here?! Why does that dirty old snowman have that smile on his face?
                                                                  Via thersic.com

9. A rather direct request by this Popeye impersonator.

                               A rather direct request by this Popeye impersonator.
                                                    Via mitchoconnell.blogspot.com

10. I now have a new unholy creature to haunt my dreams: Don’t stare directly into it’s eyes, it will steal your soul.

                                      I now have a new unholy creature to haunt my dreams:
                                                  Via misstraceynolan.blogspot.com

11. I don’t think she is being surprised as much as she’s being suffocated!

                                    I don't think she is being surprised as much as she's being suffocated!
                                                                Via clipartqueen.com

12. On the next episode of TLC’s Strange Sex:

              On the next episode of TLC's Strange Sex :
                                                              Via thersic.com

13. Wow, that got inappropriate quick.

                        Wow, that got inappropriate quick.
                                                          Via etsy.com

14. :(

                           :(
                                               Via mitchoconnell.blogspot.com

15. Who doesn’t want to be “juiced” *wink, wink* on Valentine’s Day?

                           Who doesn't want to be "juiced" *wink, wink* on Valentine's Day?
                                                                      Via ebay.com

16. WTF!

                   WTF!
                                             Via historymaniacmegan.wordpress.com

17. Those eyes! That stare! That look definitely says, “I’m NOT gonna be ignored, Dan!”

                               Those eyes! That stare! That look definitely says, "I'm NOT gonna be ignored, Dan!"
                                                                Via ebay.com

18. Yeah, I had to look at this card twice too.

                                Yeah, I had to look at this card twice too.
                                                  Via popcereal.blogspot.com

19. That wink says you’re next to be butchered.

                         That wink says you're next to be butchered.
                                                             Via pinterest.com

20. Was she cryogenically frozen?

                            Was she cryogenically frozen?
                                                   Via contentedsparrow.com

21. I like where this is headed!

                            I like where this is headed!
                                             Via mitchoconnell.blogspot.com

22. I’m thinking this was no accident.

                                  I'm thinking this was no accident.
                                                Via popcereal.blogspot.com

23. Is this the perfect card for anyone with a fish fetish?

                       Is this the perfect card for anyone with a fish fetish?
                                           Via vintagevalentinemuseum.com

24. The card that says “Just so you know my love for you is less than my love of Big Macs.”

                     The card that says "Just so you know my love for you is less than my love of Big Macs."

25. Nothing says “I love you” like a creepy clown.

                       Nothing says "I love you" like a creepy clown.
                                                              Via Flickr: kipling_west

26. Just a gentle reminder: You’re SINGLE on Valentine’s Day.

                   Just a gentle reminder: You're SINGLE on Valentine's Day.

27. Clearly, the message here is that there is only one thing to do if you’re dateless on Valentines’ Day:

               Clearly, the message here is that there is only one thing to do if you're dateless on Valentines' Day:
                                                                                                       Via vintag.es



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